I am a Suicide Survivor
[trigger warning: suicide] I am not usually shy about my emotions. I will freely admit that I am a huge crier. Sometimes, I cry for no apparent reason. Then I cry some more,… Continue reading
Tag Archive: Grief
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On Grieving: Through a Widow’s Eyes
Editor’s note: This testimony, and the four that follow, were sent to me by Marit Quist-Corbett over a series of several months. Marit’s daughter, Caitlin, was the author of “On Grieving,” a six… Continue reading
On Widowhood, Part Two: The Anger March
March 2013 – Three years after. The yearly rhythm of grief. I am angry angry angry angry. Is this the “Anger Stage”??????? I guess that’s what psychologists would say. But I don’t want… Continue reading
On Widowhood, Part Three: From Loneliness to Autonomy
“You are not alone”, my friends assured me after Bill died. They were wrong. You are alone. I am alone. However, there is a journey from desperate loneliness to the recognition of autonomy. This entry is about… Continue reading
On Widowhood, Part Four: Decisions, Decisions
Yes. I learned to do many new things on my own. Initially, I felt proud of those newly acquired skills, that new-found power: “Really? I found a way to fix that cabinet door?” “That was me,… Continue reading
On Grieving, Part One
I don’t talk about it much. The death of my father, I mean. In fact, the pattern I’ve noticed is that I only really talk about it when I am totally, completely, can’t-spell-my-own-face… Continue reading
On Grieving, Part 3: “But You’re So Strong!”
“But you’re so strong!” I used to want to punch people really hard in the face whenever they said this to me. These days I have made my peace with it. I understand… Continue reading
On Grieving, Part 4: “Why Didn’t I…?”
The night my father died I wasn’t home. Everyone else was; my mother, my brother, my sister, my brother-in-law and of course, my father, alone in his sickroom. They were all tucked into… Continue reading
On Grieving, Part 5: You Get Used To It
You get used to it. It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t stop hurting. And you never forget. But you do get used to it. When I think of my Dad, I am just… Continue reading
On Grieving, Part 6: “Better”
We are better people when we try to live up to the expectations of the dead. I am a better person than I was before my grief. Not faster or stronger, nor happier… Continue reading